Dear Michelle

August 25th, 2008

You gave a really good speech. It rang true. I liked your brother’s introduction, and your kids were irresistible, especially when they were talking to their daddy on the big screen. That green dress looked terrific, as well. But really, would it have been too much trouble to pin a flag on it?

You said “values” eleven times. I think that’s an appropriate number, but I had to take Brian Williams’ word for it. I wasn’t counting because I kept thinking you were going to stop and make a little theatrical “bit” of pinning your flag on. To put an end to the patriotic dissonance that not just me, but every American must have been feeling.

Joe Biden wore a pin. I saw a few African-American men were wearing flag pins too. Not African flags, but American flags. Waazzuppp, girrrlll? Don’t you care what the bigots think? How are you going to win them over?

You weren’t wearing a Support-the-Troops ribbon/pin either. But you made reference in some very well chosen language that left me fairly sure you do support them. You have left yourself wide open on that front.

The majority of Americans support drilling for oil right here on American soil. A simple nod to that bloc would have been nice. Have you seen the attractive red, white, and blue Chevron pin? I was at a business meeting years ago and met a Chevron executive and his wife. They were both sporting those pins. If you would make the effort, I think you’d find they are available.

Aleve is not just a headache pill. It is an advertiser on NBC, a network that is good enough to carry the Democratic convention. Aleve does not make a pin, but believe me, you could string together forty or fifty Aleve pills and make a rather attractive necklace. America needs more in the way of pharmaceutical research, and if the manufacturers knew they had more friends in high places, it might just happen.

Minimalism plays well in artsy circles, but an unadorned bodice is elitist if that real estate could be put to use promoting Americanism. Don’t just say values, express them.

Best Wishes from an Eager Democrat

p.s. Fox News just reported you burned your flag pin.

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