Please turn your joke app off.

November 30th, 2013

Geico Gecko, Aflac duck, and Robin Williams walk into a Walmart. Somebody snaps up the last box of Sea Salt caramels. On the bright side it’s Black Friday and Walmart’s chopped beef, which is past its expiration date, suddenly drops to 8 cents a pound. Robin says to the Geico Gecko, “This is good stuff. The same thing happened last month when Smokey the Bear…”

Wiley Coyote, Bear Bryant, and Robin Williams drive into a smoke-free parking lot. A man inĀ  a yellow Humvee dumps his ashtray onto the asphalt. On the bright side they’re all low-nicotine butts. Robin Willliam says to Bear Bryant, “Don’t sweat it. Somebody did this same thing at Walmart in 1996. Fortunately, Smokey the Bear…”

Bing Crosby, Garry Moore, and Robin Williams walk into a cemetery. A woman kneels, chipping the likeness of her recently deceased husband into a gravestone. She has made his nose big, yet the photograph she is working from is of a small-nosed man. Robin Williams asks her, “Is this a Jewish cemetery or are you just…”

Betty Furness, Jackie Robinson, and Robin Williams ride into a bike park. There is a chalk drawing of Lance Armstrong on a large, smooth patch of concrete. Robin Williams, who has been described in the press recently as “a cutter,” empties an artery onto the drawing. When a worried child runs up and asks him, “why are you doing that?” Robin merely shrugs as if to say…”Have you been reading Maureen Dow…?”

Colin Powell, Pablo Picasso, and Robin Williams, snowboard into The Shreadows in Alpine Meadows, North Lake Tahoe. Picasso’s snowboard is, of course, a startling shape which pleases the eye, but disrupts his course through the deep snow. He disappears into a huge drift and Robin calls out, “Hallooo, hallooo, halllooooo Pabloooo. You are missing all the…”

 

 

 

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