September 8th, 2013
It was within a week or so of my 17th birthday that I gave up my virginity. I was working at Mel Steckley’s Sunoco station — the corner of 15 Mile Road and Telegraph Avenue, a few miles north of Detroit. The brothers Eddie and J.D. wanted to get me laid, so they took me a few miles further north, up to Pontiac. This was some years before the Detroit Lions moved in, and for all I know, the hovel in which I copulated might well have been torn down to make way for the new stadium (now torn down itself). After the accomplishment of the deed, Eddie and J.D. never failed to mention their ten dollar birthday gift at work. It was their way of reminding me they’d splurged on a white whore (“hooker” was too elevated a term for these boys).
I never had sex without paying until I was out of the military. Prostitutes in Detroit, then Ft Riley Kansas, Ft Sill Oklahoma, Ft Bragg North Carolina, and any one of the towns on Okinawa, kept me going. Then, at the age of 22, in the small college town of Hillsdale, Michigan, I had sex with a number of different girls. For me this was graduation.
Over the years, at different schools, different jobs, and different sky-diving exhibitions, I bedded (or back-seated) many different women. None of the relationships lasted longer than three years — that one resulted in my son, Max. I did have one on-and-off relationship with a woman that continued, interrupted, for six years. I was 44 when we quit seeing each other. Fortunately, a woman friend had a prostitute in mind for me. “You’ll love her, Fred.” I watched a couple of the porn movies she appeared in and I quite agreed. For the next year, I saw only the prostitute. She was just fine.
Okay, why am I back in this self-revelatory mode again? I just pulled this gimmick a couple weeks ago. 60 Minutes is why. Tonight they did a study of all the work that technology has taken from workers all over the world. The situation is BAD. It’s not going to change. Every job that is destroyed in America no longer even becomes an offshore job. The job is given to a robot. Who profits? Only the owners and investors in the Robot Company. These men (and a few women) are not charitable people. They are selfish and unlovable money-storage units who would not give a caterpillar turd to a starving dung beetle.
It is time to not only legalize, but to celebrate prostitution in a big, big way. Think of the jobs that would come into being as soon as this country gets its act together. I cannot imagine a world in which men would find a robot sex partner preferable to the real thing. Too many men are stuck with robots as it is. And since women can make the same complaint, maybe they’d go for something less robotic than a bored husband.
So how do we let let the air our of the priggish, holier-than-thou patriotic, church-going American? Let them in on some of the money. The economy might be doing better, but all the money is held at the high end. People at the low end have long gotten over their aversion to cash-for-sex. But what we used to call the middle income crowd (how does $50,000 a year hit the middle between $20,000 and $200,000,000 a year?) needs the ability pay for school-books, car repairs, and the occasional wedding party at Olive Garden. Hookers will still need places to have sex (real estate), ways to meet clients (agents), bedding and furnishings (Bed, Bath, & Way Beyond), exercise (gym memberships), food, drinks, soap, washcloths & towels, recordings, pharmaceuticals, and so on. All of these would be tax write-offs. An industry with just one million prostitutes would bring employment to so many others — almost all of them low-to-middle income earners.
What other jobs cannot reasonably be performed by robots? Masseurs, masseuses, animal trainers, comedians, athletes, musicians, dancers, writers, entertainers in general, and a thousand more. We need to set up and manage these industries. Give thought to each in ways that will best exploit their talents, not their hangers-on. Giggle about this if you will, but fifty years from now (and I hope you are all still alive) we will all either be slaves or human beings.