March 12th, 2013
Smoke from the Sistine Chapel at 10:57 a.m. this morning. Had they chosen a new Pope? No, just burning subpoenas.
Three more Cardinals were scrubbed from the list of candidates for Pope this week due to morals charges. They were replaced by three players from the St. Louis Cardinals.
47 candidates were not allowed to perform the Rite of the Eucharist today. The Church did not want their mouths near the Body of Christ.
Putting the Cardinals in the Sistine Chapel is foolish. Their dead eyes cannot really understand the work of Michaelangelo. It’s like hosting Sesame Street in the Library of Congress.
Some soap company had a nice idea: Pope on a Rope. But they decided nobody would ever buy it. There’s just no way to get a Pope clean.