I had some sarcastic ideas that I wanted to weave into a piece about the Oscars tonight. I’ve never enjoyed the show, but what else are you going to do on a Sunday night? It’s still the Sabbath, after all. My thoughts concerned the suffering of the people who inhabit our brief attention spans. Should I really watch the Oscars while Oscar Pistorius suffers? While the old and befuddled Pope is bent over in grief? While O.J. Simpson breathes our air, drinks our water, and still exploits our crazed appetite for celebrity?

But Barbra Streisand came on and sang “Memories.” My cynicism did not hold. I smiled the rest of the way. For director Ang Lee and, when the cameras cut to her, his wife, Jan Lin, who made the most ridiculous, self-conscious, and human grimaces. Fortunately, my wish to sneer had broken entirely by the time Jane Fonda, Meryl Streep, and Jack Nicholson, in their turns, took the stage. And the choice for a closing song, sung by Kristen Chenowith and host, Seth McFarlane was the best — “Here’s to the Losers.”

Now for that long awaited piss break.