HateFuel ™

January 4th, 2011

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“I take my hate cold,” says Glenn Beck, “just like revenge. It’s better that way.” Not everyone agrees, though. Jim DeMint likes it piping hot. “I brew it and dump in a little sugar,” he says. Tea Party flack, Michelle Bachmann loves it as a dessert topping, and Mitch McConnell takes it in the new giant HateFuel Suppositories — twice a day.

Forget the old, inefficient ways of fueling your hate. Church takes too long. Country clubs require a fancy wardrobe. You could join a militia, but high-school dropouts with armor-piercing ammo aren’t the sharpest bullets in the clip.

And try new HomoHate ™ along with the standard racial formula. The important thing is to fill yourself with HateFuel every day. Right up to the base of your reptilian hindbrain.

Nothing says Go To Hell like Hatefuel.

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