December 26th, 2010


–  U.S. Chamber of Commerce President Tom Donohue decried the tobacco litigation in the late 1990s as “not really about tobacco.” Ever since the tobacco Master Settlement Agreement, the Chamber has been actively pursuing litigation to make the issue “not really about tobacco,” but about preventing people who have been harmed by Big Tobacco’s deadly product and deceptive advertising from holding them accountable — The Charleston Gazette

Here’s a possible solution to the combined evils of the Tobacco industry and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce: the government should offer simple, no copay health insurance to those afflicted with debilitating or terminal diseases caused by cigarettes. All the sufferer need do is record simple TV and radio spots with the theme, “I’m dying for a cigarette company” and he or she gets health care in line with the senators who enabled the tobacco giants.

Comcast has a plan in which local businesses can advertise neighborhood by neighborhood. Therefore, the afflicted can talk directly to the people in their own communities — many of whom will know, or at least recognize, the sufferer.

In the spots they would wear the sweatshirt you see — some people may even choose to wear them on their daily rounds. Take it from me, a guy who used to sell a bunch of crappy shit to the public when I was in advertising. This isn’t crappy and it could be made to work.

“And how might we pay for this health care?” ask the put-upon multi-millionaires, cheerleaders for everything that makes 98 percent of the public miserable. Simple, we cut their nuts off, gold-plate them and auction them off at Sothebys.

4 Responses to “.”

  1. jon Says:


    With the current state of the Republican party and its cast of misfits you’ll have enough to keep you busy for a long time to come. They have so many assholes amongst them.

  2. Iron Knee Says:

    Fred, your blog just keeps getting better and better. Keep up the great work!

  3. Steven Russon Says:

    Fred… This is a great idea. Your time in advertising was not wasted.

  4. bruce bellingham Says:

    I can make dogs yawn — particularly when I begin to talk

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