(Grace’s assignment — write in a style you would not ordinarily use).

In Franklin’s stove, the hot gases flow downwards, unlike the gas of his Predictions. His metallurgical Acumen outstrips his astrological musings. It is the Affect of Neptune and our Moon on the seafloor that is the Cause of this Discovery. Petrology is his new field of Endevour, and if you ask “what is the Nature of Petrology?” he will say that beneath the place where sharks make their nest is a mineral goop, or sludge, or liquefaction of a kind that may be used to cause Fires to Burn. The Eminent man envisions an Augur to break the sunken rocks far beneath the waves so that a sucking device may pull the dark liquor to our shores. (How does he know it is dark? Does he look at it by Hell’s light?) The End and Final result will be machinery that weds the kind of Light that recently struck his kite and this, as he says, Pourable Mineral. Wetness the Cause of Fire! is his claim. Rocks beneath saltwater pressed into Flame. SO TOSS OUT YOUR DRY TINDER, IT IS NO LONGER SUFFICIENT TO CONFLAGRATE! And to beat All of it, the Licensee of the Endevour is to be Brittania. Foolish? it is Beyond Prediction.

As always, your devoted Chronicler of the Colonies, I am Wretched Frederick.